Winter Crud

Winter has consumed me so fully that I just feel like I am going through the motions every day. I don't even know what to say here, because writing seems pointless when I feel this empty. 

Dont get me wrong, the big picture stuff is great. And even the small things going on in life are good, and I'm happy overall. It's just so hard to be alone with my head in 10 degree weather, because I want to be creating something, but all I have in my head where creative energy should be is static feedback. And that makes me sad. 

Feeling creatively blocked makes me feel unattractive and like I have nothing to offer. And wearing a thermal under a sweater under a sweatshirt under a winter trenchcoat makes me feel unattractive. And my skin drying out and cracking at my knuckles, from the cold, makes me feel unattractive. And it's all I can do to get up and go where I'm supposed to be, each morning, and too much to ask that I do it with makeup and my wardrobe a reflection of joy.